Bane of Non-monetary Christmas Gifts

Christmas gifts tend to be double-edged swords. They bear goodwill from family and friends; they also incur unnecessary storage costs to the receiver.

I want very few things in life. As to the few items I do desire, I have purchased them myself already. It is highly unlikely all my materialistic needs are clustered around December 25.

Alas! Modern materialism and complex functionalities of gadgets have overwhelmed me so much I have shut down completely. At this point, I do not know how to put many things into proper use and it is not uncommon past cool gifts from you have been collecting dust in my humble abode. I do respect your goodwill, so I never throw away gifts. However, please beware of my lack of imagination.

Here is an idea: why throw cash to retailers when you can give it to me instead? I do desire a statistical software that costs 400 dollars to upgrade (I will try to split the cost with a friend so I am only soliciting 200). If you give me a Jackson for Christmas, I promise I will put your kindness into daily use and think of you fondly each and every day.

Mailing address is available upon request.